I feel like describing my life these days in terms of air transport: My life is like a hot air balloon race in that there are lots of things up in the air right now. The course of the next couple of years of my life is very uncertain, and I'm waiting for a few crucial bits of information before I can start making decisions and plans.
My life is also like the flight I took to Texas last weekend to audition at the University of Texas at Austin ("Hook'em Horns!") Planes have a direction, a destination in mind, but sometimes they get stuck in holding patterns or get delayed due to inclement weather. I'm in a holding pattern right now, waiting to see what opportunities will become available to me and when. I'm not sure which opportunities will happen soon and which may be delayed due to inclement weather.
In less cryptic terms, I don't yet know if I'm going to grad school next year--but I will know by April 15th. I was granted one grad school audition (at UT as mentioned above); I went down there last week, sang well, and was really pleased with the school. However, I have to wait a full month to hear whether I'm accepted or not and over a month to hear about scholarships and suchlike. Once I have that info, I must make a decision by April 15th. Meanwhile, I'm putting out feelers and making connections in St. Louis so that I can make the most of a year off if that's what ends up happening. I have a consultation lesson scheduled with a St. Louis voice teacher at the end of February, and I'm planning to take language classes and work to save money (I already have a summer--and potentially all-year--job lined up, praise God!)
This uncertainty about my plans for next year yields a fair amount of uncertainty in other eras of my life--whether I'm going to be looking for a church family in Texas or if I should begin the process of putting down "adult" roots at my home church or if I should start looking for a different church in St. Louis (there's a longer story there but you can ask me about it sometime if you want to hear more about the church situation). My relationship with my boyfriend Drew is excellent but complicated by the fact that he's commissioning as an officer in the U.S. Army and deploying next year and I don't know what I'll be doing or where I'll be living.
In short, there's so much to be grateful for. I have so many good things in my life and so many opportunities or potential opportunities. I just need to be thankful and patient until God gives me enough information to see where He's leading me. I trust He'll do this in His good timing. Until then, I'll try to do what I do when I'm stuck on a plane in a holding pattern above the clouds--sit back and enjoy the view.
Cheers,
Emily
